I have dreaded writing this post, mainly because it concerns the aspect of the OKC container home that is most embarrassing to me: the back deck.
The back deck took longer than planned to get installed — mainly for monetary reasons. My usual work partner was unavailable (and slightly unwilling) to take on a project as substantial as I wanted this deck to be. Add to that a diligent search for the most affordable quote from local contractors, and the wait was about a month from the site being ready for it to the work actually beginning. When I finally did pull the trigger on what I thought was an excellent deal, I only wound up getting exactly what I paid for.
Live by the Craigslist, die by the Craigslist
When the professional deck contractors I contacted in OKC wound up returning quotes in the $5,000 and $6,000 dollar range, I began to despair. That would make the deck one of the most expensive single aspects of the container home so far.
So, I turned to CL.
I love CL. Used it all the time in California and even some here in Oklahoma. It didn’t take me long to find a post for an independent contractor (more like just some random kid) who said that he worked to support his wife and kids and would never screw a client over. He seemed like one of those simple, good-hearted, salt-of-the-earth people based on the writing in his post, and so I decided to give him a shot.
The kid came out, and we looked over the site and talked over the requirements. he took some measurements and said he would get back to me with a quote. When he did, it was only like $2,000, including materials (only $1,400!). He said that if things wound up being more expensive or that if he messed up something and had to gov over budget that he would absorb the cost personally. Although he said he had never built a deck this big, he said it should pose no serious problems.
So I got him a Home Depot card for the $1,400 and told him he could keep any that was left over. He began working right away, by himself, and completed the whole job in a total of about four days.
The problems became clear, however, once he was finished.
‘A big ol’ bag of mashed-up a–hole’
Even though I knew at first glance that the deck had problems, I didn’t want to go over it with a fine-toothed comb and point them all out to him. At $2,000, I figured I could remediate whatever he had messed up.
Problem was: He messed the whole thing up.
NONE of the decking boards had two screws in them, which would (and has) led to cupping of the wood, even though it was pressure-treated. Some of the screws in the decking boards weren’t even screwed into a corresponding foundation board AT ALL! Just hanging there loose.
Further, the balusters along the borders of the deck were unevenly spaced and would not pass code. Very few of them were leveled true, and mostly not even level with each other. The stairs are a nightmare. Some of the deck boards extend all the way across the width, but others have been cut at random and the remainder made up at uneven intervals.
Last (and these are nit-picky issues, I grant you), much like the cock-ups from the roofing-insulation guy before, some of the boards were facing with the label side up, while others were properly installed label-side down. And I had specifically told him to remove the paper labels stapled into the ends of each board before installing, and yet they persist to this day.
As my good friend Morgan Brown of HB Contractors joked:
“This looks like a big ol’ bag of mashed-up asshole!”
A lesson in Zen philosophy
And so, as Morgan helped me go over all the mistakes made in the construction of the deck and how to remedy them, he offered some sage advice in the process. I had wanted to call the CL guy up and complain, tell him to get back out here or else face a lot of bad press on CL, but Morgan pointed out that that would be futile. If a guy is going to do a job so poorly from the outset, he’s obviously incapable of doing it right at all. It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing: It wastes your time and annoys the pig. Don’t do it.
At the end of the day, I had gotten what I wanted: a deck of a certain size that I could stand on and lord over my back yard, a place to enjoy breezes and sunsets and entertain friends. Was it perfect? No, not by half, but it did exist. My feet were off the ground, and it had cost half as much as some quotes and taken half the time, too.
I have a deck. It exists. It sucks, but it is mine.
I have a deck.